Animosity and losing patience

Well I think that I am about to lose my mind. Nothing is really going my way what-so-ever. I just want to move out of my grandma's house, get a good paying job so I can afford to support myself and to have enough money left over to be able to get married ASAP. But everything seems to be getting in my way. My hours at work are getting cut back and school is enough to drive me to drink! I have some of the bitchiest teachers this semester that I want to leave the moment I walk in the classroom.

My grandma keeps getting sick with either the Stomach flu, problems with her Colon, or a sinus infection. She thinks she's dying and bursts into tears randomly. And she just says things without thinking or considering the feeling of anybody around her. Just the other day she told me that I was just like my father (a man that i despise) and started calling me by his name "Keith".

So everything and anything is irritating me right now. Can I just be like the movie click and find a remote to life? And Just fastforward until My wedding and graduation day?

My bad.

Well, I started smoking again... If my Fiance' finds out, He'll get REALLY pissed. So hopefully I can stop before He finds out I even started. Luke and I are very honest and open with each other. We tell each other EVERYTHING so I'm finding it very hard trying to keep it a secret and trying to hide it from him. A few years ago, When I was 16 I started smoking and I got caught smoking at got kicked out of school for a few days because of it. In the result of getting kicked out of school for a few days My family also found out that I was drinking and doing some drugs. Luke and I broke up and didn't talk for about a year. (Worst year of my life by the way) So I know for a fact that if Luke finds out about me smoking, He's going to freak just because of the past experiences he's had.

Anyways. Enough about Smoking and the past and all that. I am pretty sure That I am going to be going to St Kates of fall of 2010. I am going to finish up my generals and I'm getting the hell out of this community college. So I am rather excited!!

But I need to stop procastinating and I have to study for a few test that I have on friday.

This week

The past few weeks for me have been extremely crazy. My Fiance' and I have been hit with reality right in the face. Nothing is going our way and we are both stressed to the max right now. I finally know what I want to do with my life. I want to tranfer to St Kates Catholic school in St Paul for Sonography and Luke wants to go to Vermillian school way up almost by Canada . So we are both stressing about how we can make ends meet and how we are going to be able to get into school and finsih our two year programs as fast as possible. For Me I know it's going to Take longer then two years. Because Last semester I failed a few classes due to missing so much school from a surgery I had. And I want to finish my Minnesota transfer before I go anywhere else.

On top of trying to figure stuff out with school, Luke's fmaily has been going through A LOT of stress right now. His great grandma was just told she that has cancer, their basement flooded, And Lucas Lost his great grandfather's wedding ring. He got the wedding ring when he turned 16 I think. But he was at work the other day and looked down at his hand, and it was missing. I pray to God that he finds it, but I doubt it.

Everything is just adding up to a big bundle of stress and at times i feel like I am going to lose my mind. I am super excited for spring break coming up soon, but not soon enough. Work and school are too much to handle right now. I haven't been able to see Luke it a week and I miss him like crazy. Hopefully life will slow down a little so I can take the time to breathe.

First time blogger

Ok. So this is my first blog ever and I am going to try my hardest to write in this thing at least once a week. But Life get's crazy sometimes, so we shall see how this goes!

A little bit about me.

I am 19 years old. I have lived with my Grandma most my life. It's been really challenging living with somebody so much older then you. They dont understand what People my age are going though in our crazy world today.

I am also engaged to the Love of my life. I met Luke When I was in 7th grade. We've had a rocky relationship in the past, But we've worked everything out and we are unseparateble. And as soon as we finish College and get our lives on track we are planning on getting married.

Although my life seems pretty stressful and crazy due to work and school both full time, I am thankful for every moment of it. With out al the stress and crazyness I would just be bored and would never complish anything.

So there ya go. A little bit about me.