Boring!!!

Well Sorry to say, nothing really interesting is going on right now. I am staring to realize how much work and school are starting to control my life and every ones around me. I really have no time for me or for anybody else. Which makes me upset because I feel like I am missing out on so much. So far this year I've missed a number of family events such as birthday parties, weddings, wedding showers, and everything else sunder the sun.

Pretty much every free second I have I am studying or I'm with Lucas because in August he's for Ely..... more than 4 hours away. When he leaves we are saying nothing is going to change between us. And that every other weekend I am going to drive up and see him and on the other weekends he's going to drive down and see me. But in reality there's this thing called money that we are both short on thanks to school that we probably wont have to spend on gas since gas prices are going up again. Also homework will be nearly impossible to do if I don't have the weekends to study.

Speaking of studying, I should get to it.

My secrect Life.

Well... from a previous post, you may have read that I started smoking again.. I really don't know if I should tell my fiance' or not. I want to tell him before he finds out because I know how much he HATES smoking with "An unholy burning passion" (quote from his dad) But I don't want him to get upset either. We've both have had a rough last couple of months and I don't want to stress him or I out anymore by complicating things with something as stupid as smoking. I'm in the process of quiting... but if you've ever smoked.. You know that goes.

Anyways.

I started spring break today. I'm not doing ANYTHING but working like crazy and doing homework. It's rather irritating

My grandma is back form Florida... YAY.....

Sorry this is so random. I got a lot of thoughts going on in my head right now.

I am jealous of people who are getting married soon and have a house or apartment and they can abide by there own rules and don't have to answer to anybody. I wish I could find a Job that pays better than 8 bucks a hour that would allow me to go to school full time so Lucas and I can start planning the rest of our lives together. Sometimes I wish Life was back to the olden days where it was normal to get married and to start a family at a young age. Our sociecty today makes it very difficult for people my age to get married and I hate it.

The past few days.

Well, My life the past fews days have been crazier than ever. Right when you think everything is going ok, things get totally messed up. On Friday my fiance's parents found out that he FINALLY bought my engagement ring. And when they found out, they got pissed. Took him back to the store where he got it from and returned it. So things have been really rocky with his parents right now...

His mom wants to call and to talk to me which I am not excited about. Just because the last time she called me and wanted to "talk", She ended up calling me and pretty much told me I was just playing mind games and that I was a horrible person and blah blah blah blah blah. Her "talking" to me lasted for a whole ten minutes which felt like a life time. When I got off the phone with her I was shaking so badly because I was so angry.... That talk was six months ago.... So HOPEFULLY she doesnt call me again. I don't think I would be able to handle another phone call like that. She scares me enough already.

But anyways. I should probably get going. I have to study for my math test that is today.

One Day at a Time.

well, things are finally looking up. My grandma is in Florida right now so my stress level has decreased significantly. It's just my brother and I at home right now, so I don't have grandma yelling at me every three seconds. And every free moment I have, I am able to spend it with Luke. It's rather nice. But yes, I do miss grandma and I do realize everything that she does for my brother and I, but I am enjoying this little vacation right now and it only lasts for one more week. :(

So Yesterday I spent the afternoon with Luke. It was pretty much the best day we've spent together yet. We went to adoration for an hour and just sat there praying and holding hands. every once in a while I would catch him looking at me with a smile on his face. And I would look at him and he would whisper the words "I love you". After adoration we went back to his house and his two youngest siblings, Clare and Katherine were asking me all these adorable questions, Like when are we getting married, How many kids we want, what the names are going to be. I was rather funny considering they are only 6 and 8 years old.

But I should get going I have yoga class starting very soon. I'll post again soonish