Finally feeling better... 3 weeks later

Well, my doctor called me the other day, and what he thought was mono, turns out wasn't mono... He said according to the tests he has done, I've already have had mono! (When the hell was this I would like to know!!) And I just have a very bad infection that is attacking my body. After two rounds on antibiotic, they finally knocked this infection out of me. I was really worried though. I thought that I was never going to get better! Yesterday, my lymph nodes were so swallow I was having a hard time breathing, so my grandma brought me into the doctor yet again. They did MORE blood tests (and by this time, my arms are all bruised up from the previous blood tests it looks like I am a drug addict! The picture is of my arm where they poked me with the needles! This is just my right arm the felt arm looks the same! and the flash didn't make it looks as bad as what it looks in person) I was so dehydrated from not being able to even swallow my own saliva because it hurt so bad, that it took a few pokes for the nurse to get the needle to a good vain. They took three vials of blood and ran all kinds of tests. One of the tests they were looking for the cancer, Leukemia... When they said this... I was FREAKED out! But it turns out, it was just a viral infection. It should not have lasted this long, but I haven't been listening to my body and I have been "burning the candle at both ends" As my doctor said. I guess going to parties and not coming home at all, or coming home at 5 in the morning and having to get up 3 hours later and having to go to work hasn't been a good idea for the past two months. Of course I'll never admit it, but in a away, grandma was kinda.... sorta.. ok yes, she was right. I thought, shit! I am young, I am 20, going on 21. I can do whatever and I will bounce back NO PROBLEM! Well, I was clearly wrong. Since I ended up at North Memorial twice in the past week because of this stupid virus. But, I am feeling MUCH BETTER!! Today I have my voice back and I don't sound like a sexy man anymore. And I can eat solid foods, and drink soda without tears coming to my eyes! Ohhh and I can smoke without feeling like my throat needs a fire extinguisher.

I have a question though! Ok, so my boyfriend Eric and I went out on a date, and one our way home we stopped and picked up his friend, so his friend could finish fixing his car. While Eric was inside, I was outside having a smoke with his buddy John. And I was complaining to John, like "Oh it sucks, I am 20 years old and I have to be home by 10:30 tonight because grandma wants me to be home early because I am getting over being sick" And John goes "Yeah Eric was telling me about you being sick and all I kept hearing was how amazing you are and that he loves you" SHOCKING!! Eric and I don't say I love you to each other. I think I may have slipped and said it once or twice while I had been drinking, but he told his buddy that he loves me. So, I don't know! Eric and I have officially been dating for 3 weeks! (3 weeks today!) but we've been an item for two months. Thanks to my previous relationship (from hell I might add) saying I love, in a way, makes me worry and freak out. I feel like a guy when it comes to relationships now! I show very little emotion and I am scared of commitment.

Anyways... I was going to try and keep this one a short blog, but I just have a lot on my little mind. Gooooood night world! I will see you in a few short hours when my alarm clock goes off and tells me that I have to get up early and get my butt back to work!

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I have mono... Oh joy!!

Well, for the past two weeks I have felt ran down and just crappy. At first my STUPID doctor was treating me for strep, so they gave me a wimpy antibiotic and sent me on my merry way. But As soon as I finished the medication (5 days later) I started feeling really sick again. And my Lymph nodes swelled up to the size of walnuts!! I am not even kidding. They were so big that I couldn't even turn my neck and it hurt to lift my head up off my pillow, and when I did, I felt like my neck was going to burst!! So I finally gave in and went and saw a ENT (Ear Nose and Throat) specialist. He took one look at me and said I had a bad case of mono. SO.... I have had to take a WEEK off of work because I need to rest up and get better... The past two weeks have been a living hell. I can barley eat because my throat hurts too much, and I wake up about every half hour at night. Until, my doctor prescribed with wonderful thing called Tylenol 3 and I take 4 Advil before I go to bed to help with the swelling in my liver, spleen, throat, neck, and all my little aches and pains from just laying around all day!

And boy oh boy, am i starting to freak out... I am planning on moving in 15 days.... That's two weeks plus one day! And with being sick for a week, and missing work... And the first months rent PLUS the Security depot it will be $1,125 bucks , which turns out to be $375 per person, But I just paid to get my car fixed because it broke down on me, on my way home from the hospital when I was getting blood drawn and getting tested for mono! So... The next month or two, I am going to be very stressed. Plus I am still on a hunt for a second job! So wish me luck.. Who's ever reading....

Itching to blog for a day or two now!

So, I realized that I am damn good liar. Yesterday, I was supposed to drive up to Breezy Point and have this huge choir shin-dig and sing like 6 hours a day and then tonight put on this mass concert deal. But on Monday I came down with a virus and I was in bed for 2 and a half days because my temp wouldn't go away and my lymph nodes were so swollen it even hurt to turn my head. The doctors said it's possibly mono, but put my on an antibiotic anyways. (Mono can't be treated with medications) SO, moral of this story, I decided to take a little vacation and not to to breezy point and sing to 12 hours in two days while still getting over what ever kicked my butt in the beginning of the week. I went to my boyfriends house and stayed there the past two days. I called him the night before I was supposed to leave, and said "I really don't want to go to this stupid choir thing I got myself into. I just need a vacation!!" He said, "So take one, stay with me" So I did. I told my choir director I was still feeling under the weather and the non stop singing and getting very little sleep would not be the best thing. And she agreed. (Which wasn't a lie) But, I told my grandma I was still going to this whole choir deal and I packed all my choir junk and left my house at 6 in the morning just to drive a whole 4 blocks away to Eric (my boyfriends house) just to convince grandma that I was still going.

It was so nice to get away for two days!! I have already taken them off from work since this whole choir trip was planned so I didn't have anything to do or to worry about! I didn't have to worry about keeping grandma happy, coming home on time, when I could go out and sneak a smoke after she had gone to bed, if my room was clean before I left the house, I was able to sleep in and just relax. And Eric, he's amazing. I know I say this about all guys that I have dated. But, he's truly amazing. Him gently running his fingers through my hair while laying on the couch watching a movie, falling asleep with him holding me in his arms at night, waking up with him kissing me on the forehead saying "Morning baby", and the way that he makes me feel beautiful when I am just in sweats and just getting up in the morning. To whomever is actually reading this, you may think it sounds creepy or whatever. But I love every single second of it. It's been a really long time since I was with someone with such a good heart and good intentions. (If ever! I've dated a lot of douchey people, that's for damn sure)

But I am off.. It's now 12:12AM and I have to get back to the real world and I have to get back to work tomorrow at 9AM until 6! I loved my little vacation that I had! One small problem with it though, it was too short.

I decided to blog again

Since I have a little more free time now, I thought blogging would be a fun thing to do again! As of right now a lot of things have changed.. My Brother joined the army and he will be gone for four years!!! Maybe more. He has completely turned his life around and has done a complete 180. He usually calls home about once a week and can talk for a few minutes and he actually called today! He's more of a big brother now, he's telling me to stay out of trouble for once and he tells me he loves me... It was so good to hear his voice today. I haven't talked to him in about a month, and I have missed him so much!

There has been a lot going on at home (I must admit I have brought it all on myself, but I think it's a lot of over reacting!) And grandma and I haven't been getting along at all! She tells me that I have until May 1st to move out, and honestly, I am 100% ready! I have been looking at apartments with a few friends, I could for sure afford to move out... Money will be tight, and some sacrifices will have to be made, but I am ready for the challenge!

I, once again, have a boyfriend. His Name is Eric and I have known of him since I was in 9th grade, but we starting dating about a month ago, when my VERY good friend Liana re- introduced us, when she kinda hooked us up on a blind date (That I made her attend with me!)

HOLY WOW, A lot has changed since I last blogged! I now see my dad, and my other grandparents about once a week now!! Every Thursday, Before I have my choir class, I drive to my grandparents and I stay there for several hours and I spend time with my family. Now that I am 20 years old, it's nice to start mending the broken relationships and to be part of a family that I have felt left out of ever since I could remember.

I'm gettting bad at posting and updating... Sorry!

Well, A lot has happened since I last posted something. I am now for the first time in 14 months, single.. It's rather weird, but I am enjoying every second of it. It's nice not worrying about somebody and wondering how they are doing and if they are ok. I can get a lot of me time. It's frees up more time to spend with my studies and my real friends.

I am also back at school. I'm not sure if I've posted about school yet, but school this year is going much better than last year. Even though I am taking three english classes like the nerd that I am, it's a lot of working writing a shit ton of papers, but it's fun. I'm just worried about next semester for when I have to start taking science classes... I am horrible at science and I am worried I wont have the time to go to the labs and the lectures. Science classes are really time consuming I don't have a lot of time now a days thanks to my school and work schedules. I already cut my hours way back at work, and I hope I don't have to cut them back more. I need the money to pay my bills.

Speaking of work, I really want a new job.... The place I am now is getting rather annoying and I am starting to see everybody's true colors WHICH aren't so pretty. So I have applied to a few different places just to see if I could get an interview and see the pay and how many hours they are looking for somebody to work. But so far I haven't heard anything back... Maybe I should call and ask to see if they had the chance to go over my application yet. On the application it said do not call... So I really don;t know if I should.

Last but not least, family... Family has been really stressful. My grandma Helen has been really sick and my emotions have been up and down about it. Part of me feels guilt for not spending more time with her and the rest of my family, and the other part of me feels upset towards the majority of the rest of the family for not keeping me in the loop about everything and excluding me from the family. I saw my dad and talked to him for the first time in........ 8 months. I just got really upset and wanted to tell him what I really thought of him and his family, but he was upset enough about grandma being sick.... I'll save that for a rainy day.

But I should probably stop slacking on my homework and get it done..... YAY for homework......

This is my car that I bought, It's a 2000 Ford Focus and I love it!